Somebody compared living wholeheartedly to the experience of a leaf in a river. Like flowing water, you can effortlessly adapt to any obstacle which is placed in your path, you can kick up a storm or just give up when you cannot control your experience. Leaves do get stuck at times on some obstacles in a river but there will always be a rush of water or something to pull it back into the river. Imagine today is the first day of your life in a river of truth and honesty. Are you ready to go wholeheartedly with the flow of a new way of living? Your purpose in the river might just be to save a few things from drowning. You can only do that if you are honest. That means you will not be sneaking around anymore, trying to hide your little “sins” from others.
Brené Brown, in Daring Greatly, said there are many tenets of wholeheartedness, but at its very core is vulnerability and worthiness. You need to face uncertainty, exposure, emotional risks, knowing that you are enough. Only the true honest version of yourself is worthy enough. The problem is most people live two lives. A life in public that does not correspond to the life at home. Their feelings and opinions in public do not correspond to the true feelings and opinions at home. The version of a story in public might not always line up with the correct version of the story. The reason for it is there is seldom space for integrity and grace.
I solved that problem for myself. I started to live by this rule; what I do, think and say is one and the same. I had to grow some backbone to be vulnerable, to surrender and to have the courage to be honest at all time. I would like to share some of my lessons, that helped me survive in the river of truth and honesty.
Brené Brown says; “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” I endure uncertainty that comes with the risk of emotional exposure when I surrender with the truth. I have applied a principle that Sigi Oplander taught me in her book – Agree and be free. Agree with what is true, correct and right and that will set you free. Else you will be the victim and prisoner of your own lies.
Remember Brené said; “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, where our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” I was only able to accept the true version of myself. I could never accept my conflicted “perfect and polite” facade. I believed people would have abandoned and alienated me if they learned the truth about me, my life and my secrets. The opposite is true. People alienate, reject, avoid and abandon me when I am a hypocrite. Sometimes they don’t even know they respond this way to our “lies”.
I started to live on purpose, like a worthy valuable human being, the day I started to just be my vulnerable honest self. I surrendered to the truth, with the truth, and started to show up with the courage to face uncertainty, exposure and emotional risks; knowing I am enough.
Be vulnerable and surrender wholeheartedly with the courage to live in the river of truth and honesty.
Are you a beautiful and squeaky clean person on the outside but dead and a very troubled on the inside?
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