“The value of values is not just shaping behaviour, but shaping the right behaviour. The value of values starts by defining the value of values.” (Anonymous)
Coaching and mentoring others, for more than 10 years now, I remain fascinated by the power of knowing one’s PERSONAL VALUES.
Over the years, approximately 95% of my clients did not know their 5 CORE DRIVING VALUES, prior to engaging with me. During the initial assessment session with every client, I provide an exercise which assists clients to identify these values, as it serves as a benchmark for feelings and thoughts, which in turn gives one direction.
WHAT IS THE REAL PURPOSE AND POWER OF KNOWING YOUR VALUES?
- Firstly, VALUES help us to decide whether preference or events are GOOD or BAD, RIGHT or WRONG, DESIRABLE or WORTHLESS, IMPORTANT or INSIGNIFICANT
- VALUES become the basic determiner of perceptions, opinions and attitudes for deeper understanding of who we really are. VALUES come from within. They emphasize who we are. And, if you don’t know who you are, then how do you measure your value to yourself and others?
- Using VALUES will always mean going through certain processes: motivation and selection or evaluation, before making decisions
- VALUES also have a social function. They can be derived from the commonality of experience, as well as the unity of families, communities, societies and nations
- VALUES can be inherited, but may be honed through self-awareness and experience. They are measured by the strength of our character.
- VALUES help us find direction and much like a compass, when your values are firmly identified, you can find and realise your purpose.
HOW DO WE CLARIFY WHAT OUR VALUES ARE?
IDENTIFY MOMENTS IN TIME
Think about moments when life was especially rewarding. It’s important that the time frame is quite limited as ‘in the moment’, or there will be too much in the experience to allow you to pinpoint the specific value. For me, when I engage with someone and am satisfied and fulfilled with the discussion, I know my first VALUE of CONNECTEDNESS has been honoured.
CONTINUE TO PROBE FURTHER
What was happening? Who was present? What were the values that you felt were honoured? Were they valuable relationships – i.e. giving, empowering, growth inspiring, spiritual, purposeful, loving, etc.?
THINK ABOUT MOMENTS WHERE YOU DIDN’T FEEL GOOD
Think about situations that made you angry, frustrated or upset i.e. “I felt trapped and had no choice”. In that example, flip it over to the opposite feeling or expression. How would you have rather wanted to feel? Was a value of FREEDOM compromised perhaps?
LEARN TO RECOGNISE THESE DIFFERENT SITUATIONS
Sometimes, we don’t even recognise situations as being value-based for us, until someone gets in the way of honouring those values. A moment of distress or becoming very upset is likely to signal that a value is being suppressed. Try to recognise that moment and store it away for future use.
WHAT ARE YOUR MUST-HAVES?
We all have must-haves. Beyond the physical requirements of food, shelter and community, what must you have in life in order to feel fulfilled? Must you have a form of creative self-expression, adventure, excitement, partnership or collaboration? Perhaps you need a sense of accomplishment or success, or to surround yourself with natural beauty? What are the values that you absolutely must honour or else a part of you will die?
YES, this is not easy! Being too close to yourself, can prove difficult in reaching absolute clarity, hence why having an objective person to help you with this exercise may be advantageous.
However, in order to find the WANT in exploring this further, you really need to see the VALUE in it!
Soon, you will be able to connect with me, via the VALUENEURS App, and together we can explore what your PERSONAL VALUES are, and how we can get you experiencing more moments where those VALUES are honoured.